New Years’ Eve Eve found me going from aisle to aisle at Target looking for board games for the house party, my partner, and I was going to be having. We decided to do something chill for our very first New Years together for three reasons:
1. We had celebrated a romantic getaway staycation less than a week earlier,
2. There was nothing good left to do in Chicago, considering that tickets were sold out and places were overcrowded,
3. and it was cold as fuck.
I mean, the weather leading up to New Year’s Eve was fucken beautiful until Allah decided to make it cold enough to freeze your nips. So a private intimate house party seemed like the best way to go, and so there I was in Target spending $125.00 on games that would lead us into the New Year with a ton of fun and laughs. I decided on Jango, 5-second rule, and a lie detector game I was sure would find me single by the end of the night; not because I have anything to hide, but because judging by the questions on the cards I was sure I might be exposing parts of myself which I would prefer to be slowly peeled away in time. Nonetheless, I decided to wear a sexy silk gown type robe sent to me by Amoralle.com, a website that has bold and sexy gowns that make a woman feel powerful. For me, it made me feel like my favorite movie character Scarlette O’Hara from ‘Gone With The Wind,’ my favorite movie of all time. With my hair in soft waves, my makeup on fleek with my “Kylie Jenner lips.” See what I did there?! Quoted the line from the song, ‘Uber Everywhere.” No?! Okay… moving on. Anyway, with my Kourt K lipstick on, I was finally ready to head out, games in hand.
The look on his face when he saw me was worth the 4 1/2 hours it took to get ready, and the night was about as magical as the year had been- not only with him but in general. So many blessings had happened. More than I could list or share just yet. Meeting a man who makes me so very truly happy, being in a healthy relationship not only intimately, but with my family, friends, and especially myself. But the most magical part of the year was healing. Really truly healing from a four-year journey since being broken in 2015. It’s probably why the stroke of midnight found me teary-eyed and a bit somber, not because I was distraught but rather grateful. Truly grateful, and I’ll admit, a little scared.
Change is scary and I feel I’ve spent my life running from it, even though it’s all I ever wanted. But no more running! No more fear! No more looking back. If I do, it’s only to help those in need, but not because my heart is heavy with unresolved grief or hurt. I am ready to open the door to change, and to the endless possibilities, I ran from for so long. 2020 I’m coming for you and no you’re not ready for me, but I am for you.
To the journey ahead.
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