Dear Faiza,
My bf and I have been dating for a year now, but he keeps saying he can’t commit because his parents won’t ever accept a marriage outside his culture. But we love each other so much and I’m so confused about what to do. Do I really let him go and throw that love away? Or do we continue to fight for this and hope his family will come around? You’ve been working with couples for years now you know if this would work or not. Tell me #TheHardTruth. NO BS. I can take it. Please.
Dear Hopeful Heart,
Let’s get straight into #TheHardTruth you want and so desperately need right now. I can appreciate the love you two have for one another, but I will stress something that needs to be known not only by you but by many other women in your same situation.
When a man says he can’t commit, he can’t, and he won’t! Beriod!
No matter how understanding that reason might sound to you, the reality is that he says, “I can’t commit to you because my parents will never accept my marrying a woman outside our culture.”
HE MEANS IT! They won’t.
Just like when a man says, “I’m not ready for a relationship!”
HE MEANS IT! He’s not!
Nothing you do, say, or no amount of love will change THAT reality. In this case, you can’t change the culture you were born and raised in. Just as he and his family have pride in their identity, YOU should have that same pride in who you are and where you come from. It’s the loss of identity that ruins more relationships every day than you may ever know.
The question then becomes, what do you do with the awareness that you don’t fit into the world of the man you love? Do you stick around as you said and hope he and his family change this ridiculous generational belief that’s so deeply rooted in their heads? Or do you gracefully exit?
My advice is to exit gracefully. Protect your heart, value your time and mental health, and move along. It’s not easy, but it’s the right and responsible thing to do to protect yourself; the other individual in that relationship that has somehow forgotten she matters. That individual deserves to find a man who’s not only sure about her but is willing to fight for their love. Why? Because love is already a hard enough journey. I mean, you have two people coming together from two different worlds saying, “Let’s blend our blend our two worlds into one.” That shit has to have harmony at the core to survive. That means both parties make a conscious and well-thought-out decision to say, “I want to spend my life with you!” Not “I would, but my family doesn’t approve.”
“Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
I know you love him. I know you feel like he’s ‘The One.’ I know you want this to work, but I can promise you this:
When enough time passes, enough tears are shed, and enough healing is done, we realize what we once wanted turned out to be what we needed to let go of in order to land who we’re meant to be with.
I promise.
Stay FABULOUS,
Faiza
WOOHOOO another post. I’m loving this. So excited and couldn’t agree more.
I’m get so excited when I see your emails mama. Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. We miss your face and sense of humor. Me and my sisters always talk about how much we miss your laugh. It’s so genuine 🙁
This is a hard one. I don’t envy the work and decisions you have to make gf lol I hear you since I was the girl who fell in love outside my culture and my family didn’t approve. Four years later he’s married to another girl and I’m still here crying and missing him. Pathetic. That’s why I’m following you now so I can stop being so stoobid lol
Spot on! He knows his family. Move on
I’m so happy you’re teaching these girls to love themselves cause wtf? NO! I’m leaving, and you know I did leave. Still healing my heart unfortunately but that’s okay. I know its gonna heal in time inshallah
Nope. He’s already out. BYE!
I love that you put these on IG. Going over to comment lol
LEAVE!!!!!!!! If he was going to fight for you honey, he would. he’s telling you it’s not going to happen. Take him at his word.
leave now
Oh no. This isn’t love sis. If he wanted to make this work with you, nothing would stop him!
First time reader. I love your advice. With you all the way. LEAVE HIM TDAY!
Commented on IG but came over just to tell you I love you and I’m so happy that you’re back.
Oh no 😂 Tell that boy BYE
Exactly he knows his family if he said they won’t accept it they’re not going to gf
Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always be stimulating to read content from other writers and practice a little something from their store. I’d prefer to use some with the content on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a link on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.
Some truly nice and useful information on this site, too I think the layout holds fantastic features.
It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this superb blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Talk soon!
What Is Sugar Defender? Sugar Defender Drops is a powerful friend for people who want to control their blood sugar levels
I am impressed with this web site, real I am a fan.
I conceive other website owners should take this site as an example , very clean and excellent user friendly layout.
After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.
Hey! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Many thanks
hello!,I like your writing so a lot! percentage we communicate extra about your post on AOL? I need a specialist on this area to unravel my problem. May be that is you! Having a look forward to see you.
HerpaGreens is a novel dietary supplement created to help destroy the herpes simplex virus
Very well written story. It will be supportive to anybody who employess it, as well as me. Keep doing what you are doing – can’r wait to read more posts.
Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.
Puravive is a weight management supplement formulated with a blend of eight exotic nutrients and plant-based ingredients aimed at promoting fat burning.
Great goods from you, man. I have take note your stuff previous to and you’re simply too excellent. I really like what you have bought here, really like what you’re saying and the way in which by which you assert it. You are making it entertaining and you still take care of to stay it smart. I can not wait to read much more from you. That is really a terrific website.
Thanx for the effort, keep up the good work Great work, I am going to start a small Blog Engine course work using your site I hope you enjoy blogging with the popular BlogEngine.net.Thethoughts you express are really awesome. Hope you will right some more posts.
I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Great work!
Great post. I am facing a couple of these problems.