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#5 The Ex factor

Dear Faiza,

I can already hear your voice in my head giving me the answer, but please, I need #TheHardTruth. Me and my ex broke up a few months ago. The relationship wasn’t really bad. We stopped talking for a while we started talking again this past week, and the convo has been going really well. He doesn’t want to have a relationship again at all but just be friends. I don’t know if I can just be his friend, but I also would be happier having him there than not having him in my life. But there’s a part of me that says, idk; this is off. I’m confused. Please help and give me #TheHardTruth

Love,

Dana

Dear Dana,

I’m sorry you’re facing this. Let me give you #TheHardTruth you need to help you make a logical decision here. Too often, I’ve seen daters make decisions based on emotions, often leading to poor outcomes, for example, wanting to remain friends or being on friendly terms with an ex.

Holding onto an ex is like driving a car while looking in the rearview mirror. You might be okay with it at first until you crash. 

#TheHardTruth is that being friends with an ex is rarely a good idea.

What I’ve learned in sixteen years of working with daters is that unless you have shared responsibilities like children (fur babies included), property, or a business, there’s no valid reason to stay in touch or be friends with an ex. Beriod! Even many of those individuals wish they never had to have contact with their ex. 

Especially when there are lingering feelings and pain involved as there is with you, in which case trying to maintain a friendship is not the path to healing. The point is to break the emotional attachment. I know you want to keep the door open, but the point is to close it for good to heal and grow, not to stay stagnant or fall into toxic cycles.

Never mind how it cripples you from finding love with any other man. Men willing to accept your attachment to your past come few and far between, if at all (and vice versa). Nor should they have to! Also, there are ex’s who, unfortunately, may intentionally provide detrimental advice concerning potential prospects, exploiting your friendship and trust.

Cloaking their toxic advice with feelings of jealousy or insecurity.

Proving that the past is best left in the past.

Oddly, though, we live in a world where we’ve convinced ourselves that holding onto the past is a sign of maturity. It’s not! There’s nothing mature about holding onto the past and refusing to accept “The End,” all in the name of “we get along” or “it would be weird to cut them off.”

Maturity is in accepting the natural process of life- that everything has a beginning, middle, and end. That when you face ‘The End,’ you allow yourself to cherish and mourn the memories and connection you shared with that person, and then you heal and move on. All doors closed.

Goodbye, SUCKS! I can’t scream that loud enough! I appreciate how hard this is for you. Truly. Yet #TheHardTruth is that it’s a necessary part of life, Dana. A natural process to lessons learned and self-growth.

Close the door and ask yourself:

  1. What did that relationship teach me? 
  2. What won’t I tolerate in my next relationship? 
  3. What did this relationship teach me about the kind of man I want and don’t want?
  4. What aspects of myself am I going to change or cherish about who I am the next time around?

These are some of the questions you need to be asking yourself as you close the door to your ex. No friendship. No attachments.

Just the natural process of moving forward with lessons learned to get you closer not only to yourself but to ‘The One.’

I hope this helps you, Dana. Sending you so much love and light. 

Stay FABULOUS!!!

Faiza

290 thoughts on “#5 The Ex factor

  1. Only youre still working on 4th of July 😂 Totally agree Nothing to get from exs. I enjoy the conversation for a while but you’re right about when you meet someone new they won’t approve of your ex. My bf didn’t so I said goodbye to the ex. Best decision ❤️❤️❤️

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  3. Dear Faiza
    I read your post about holding onto an ex and was inspired to ask: What about holding onto someone who won’t leave? I’ve been in a somewhat relationship for 5 years. I guess you can call it a situation ship but labeling it as such embarrasses me. We were friends for 3 years before and I was way out of his league but ended up giving in because I loved how innocent and caring he was. The first year of the relationship was wonderful. It wasn’t until he decided to bring up the conversation of getting engaged to me to his parents that everything began to go downhill. His mother completely refused the idea of me. She despises me. I’ve never met or interacted with her. I was friends with his sister and when she found out about us she also blocked me out. Apparently his cousin had told his parents that I’m a whore and that he slept with me, but that never happened. The cousin did try to get into my life but was refused multiple times. I had been raped several years before and he knew that, I don’t lie. But he never stood up to me at the time. We decided to break it off. But no contact wasn’t a thing. We continued talking and hanging out. He would visit our home and hang out with my family. My mother loved him because I was happier around him. But when she found out his mother’s stance. She also began to not like him. Anyhow. It’s been 5 years that we are acted like we are in a relationship, exclusively. But when I ask him what we are. He says friends, because we can never be together. We both haven’t dated or given a chance to other people. And now 5 years later. He’s almost done with pharmacy school, Mr law school, I still don’t know what to do. I tried to do no contact. It lasted 2 months and then he kept calling me from fake numbers on my birthday and we rekindled. And now I don’t know what to do. The problem is. In the years after his conversation with his parents, he began to change with me. Like he knew this was never going anywhere so he stopped taking my feelings into consideration. The bigger problem is that I have a feeling that even if he proposes, there’s a 50% chance that I’ll say no. How do you move on from that? And how weak does this make me???

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  4. Dear faiza

    I hope you read this and give me the #THEHARDTRUTH my best friend the person I call best friend started dating the guy I went out on a date with and liked and she hid it from me, iam not sure how I feel about this point, my mind says she is fake and she is not your real friend but yet iam very scared to let go of this friendship I’ve created. She does and says things that hurt my feelings at times makes me sad and feel less of myself, she acts like she’s really pretty and iam nothing comparing to her. Faiza please help me figure out what I should do.

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  83. EVANS PHILIP says:

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    My wife broke up with me 3 months ago, and forced me to sign the divorce papers, and I was completely heartbroken. And I could not get back into any shape emotionally. I Thank God for this astonishing and brilliant spell caster that came to my rescue. Wow! This spell caster has helped me so much. Dr Jakuta guaranteed me an urgent 24hrs spell casting, of which I accepted it. Shockingly! this month my wife called me back with lots of apologies after 48hrs which he assured me, and he did everything possible to withdraw the divorce papers which was previously ongoing with the power of this miracle working spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer, herpes simplex virus and other sickness, Thank you so so so much Lord for your powerful spells. expressions are not sufficient to say thank you. Email doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com. You can also WhatsApp him on +2349161779461

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  133. Vanessa Dimitri says:

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  134. I contacted H A C K M A V E N S C R E D I T S P E C I A L I S T a few days ago through text and surprisingly they are carrying out an actual credit fix, my score was raised from 514 to 765 excellent score within 5days and all repossession, derogatory, and inquiries were deleted from my report! I took advantage of this and you too can by reaching out to them via EMAIL: H A C K M A V E N S 5 @ G M A I L (DOT) C O M or Call/Text/Whats-App: [+ 1 (2 0 9) 4 1 7 – 1 9 5 7] and I’m sure you will be happy you did.

  135. HOW I GOT MY EX BACK WITH THE HELP OF A SPELL CASTER +2349161779461

    Hello everyone my name is Kiara Hahn from California US. I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Dr Jakuta. I was so confused and devastated when my fiance left me without a word, I’ve spent the last month crying and feeling guilty. I wasn’t talking to anybody, so one day I search online on love tips because I needed him back desperately and I loved him so much, until I found Dr Jakuta who has solved so many relationship problems then I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72hrs he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my fiance who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem you can contact him Below are his contact details: Email him at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or
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  136. Natasha Thompson says:

    My name is Natasha Thompson from the USA/Texas.. Am so overwhelmed with gratitude to let the world know how Dr Kachi, the great spell caster changed my life for good. It all started when I lost my job and I was down financially and emotionally because I couldn’t be able provide for my two kids and staying home all day Jobless it’s not easy until I was checking on the internet when I saw a series of testimonies hearing people winning the Powerball lottery, I didn’t believed, but being poor no job you have no option. I gave it a try and I contacted Dr Kachi who told me what i have to do before I can become a big lottery winner and I accepted. He made special prayers for me in his temple and gave me the required numbers to play the lottery game and when I used the numbers to play it, I won a massive $344.6 million Powerball jackpot. I was so happy and I choose to review my winning in any platform, I would love other people to seek help from Dr Kachi through Text and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 or email drkachispellcast AT gmail. com

  137. I recommend salem manifest lover spell) AT g m ai l…c o m…………………

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  138. I’m thrilled to share my incredible experience with Dr Jakuta, a powerful spell caster who helped me reunite with my wife. We were facing numerous issues, and our relationship deteriorated, leading to a heartbreaking breakup. However, with the guidance of Dr Jakuta, whom my friend introduced me to, I followed his advice and, amazingly, my wife returned to me within 24 hours! I’m forever grateful. For those seeking help, you can reach Dr Jakuta at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or WhatsApp him on +2349161779461

  139. I Got My Husband back… Am so excited to share my testimony of a real spell caster who brought my husband back to me. My husband and I have been married for about 6yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. I became very worried and I needed help. I did all I could to save my marriage but it fail until a friend of mine told me about the wonderful work of dr ojiege I contacted him and he assured me that after 24hrs everything will return back to normal, to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and went on his knees was crying begging me for forgiveness I’m so happy right now. Thank you so much dr ojiege because ever since then everything has returned back to normal. one message to him today can change your life too for better. you can contact him via WhatsApp +2348058021321 or Email :spellojiege@gmail.com

  140. I am so happy sharing my amazing experience with the powerful spell caster Priest Ade who helped me bring my boyfriend back me and my partner was having a lot of issues things got so worst we broke up I was devastated I love him more than anything,I cried my eyes out until my friend who had a perfect relationship told me how she did it and introduced me to the wonderful man Priest Ade he told me everything was going to be Ok that there is no perfect relationship so he will help me fix mine,He told me what to do which I did and exactly 24 hours later my boyfriend came back I’m so happy thank you so much I’m going to leave his info  ancientspiritspellcast@gmail. com  WhatsApp: +2348100170928

  141. I’m thrilled to share my incredible experience with Dr Jakuta, a powerful spell caster who helped me reunite with my wife. We were facing numerous issues, and our relationship deteriorated, leading to a heartbreaking breakup. However, with the guidance of Dr Jakuta, whom my friend introduced me to, I followed his advice and, amazingly, my wife returned to me within 24 hours! I’m forever grateful. For those seeking help, you can reach Dr Jakuta at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or WhatsApp +2349161779461

  142. SALEM MANIFEST LOVER SPELL@GMAIL COM TO WIN BACK YOUR EX LOVER AND MAKE IT LAST FOREVER…

    Hello everyone. I am from Santa Monica I never ever believed in spell until I met a man called Dr. Salem who help me cast a spell that brought back my ex-lover who left me for two years before our marriage, His spells works beyond my imaginations and today I am happily married with two kids and me and my [ex-lover] now husband are very happy more than ever before, what more can I say rather than to say thank you Dr. Salem for been there for me, contact him today and your life will never ever remain the same his email is salemmanifestloverspell@gmail. com… may the lord continue to use you to save people as you did to me, He is the best spell caster that can help you

  143. I’m thrilled to share my incredible experience with Dr Jakuta, a powerful spell caster who helped me reunite with my wife. We were facing numerous issues, and our relationship deteriorated, leading to a heartbreaking breakup. However, with the guidance of Dr Jakuta, whom my friend introduced me to, I followed his advice and, amazingly, my wife returned to me within 24 hours! I’m forever grateful. For those seeking help, you can reach Dr Jakuta at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or WhatsApp him +2349161779461

  144. I still don’t know the right words to express my gratitude to Herbalist Dr. UGHULU. After being diagnosed with Herpes Virus 2 months ago, I was given so many health prescriptions and advice with no improvement, I totally lost hope, until I found testimonies of Great Dr. UGHULU online when I was researching on a Blog, Like anybody would be, I was very skeptical about contacting him but I later did and he opened up to me and told me what was involved and he started. the remedies for my health. Thank God, I was cured from Herpes Virus by the herbal medication I received from him. I never thought that Herpes Virus can be cured, From the bottom of my heart I’m truly grateful and I pray you have long life so you can help many more people on earth with your herbal medical support, You can Email him via email :drughulupowerfulspelltemple @gmail.com or Text/Call:+1 (252) 409-1841 One thing I love most about Dr. UGHULU he is a good man with kind hearted, He is very polite with his patience, Everything he told me was what he did and his herbal medicine are very affordable.

  145. I’m thrilled to share my incredible experience with Dr Jakuta, a powerful spell caster who helped me reunite with my wife. We were facing numerous issues, and our relationship deteriorated, leading to a heartbreaking breakup. However, with the guidance of Dr Jakuta, whom my friend introduced me to, I followed his advice and, amazingly, my wife returned to me within 24 hours! I’m forever grateful. For those seeking help, you can reach Dr Jakuta at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or WhatsApp him on +2349161779461

    LOVE SPELL

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