DEAR FAIZA,
I’m praying you read this. My marriage is on the line. I’ll try to keep it short. Been married to my wife for 11 yrs. We have three amazing kids. My wife’s job took off a few years ago and it demands she have a social media presence and that she travels a lot solo. I don’t mind what she posts or that she travels a lot for work— even though a lot of her pictures are imo too provocative for a wife and mother. Regardless I ignore it because I support and love my wife. But when her career took off, her wedding ring followed. Anytime I bring it up she flips and acts like I’m suffocating or restricting her. Then she tries to fix it by posting a few pics and vids of me and the kids to try to even it out but even in those posts she’s trying to post more of herself and she’s also not wearing her wedding ring in any of those while I never take mine off. It’s not a sizing issue, or cause she doesn’t believe in it cause she did in the beginning. But once she got this online presence her ring came off and it hasn’t come back on and it’s not like it would impact her work in any way. That’s important to note. Something about it feels off. Especially my wife traveling around the world, surrounded by guys, and going around without her ring on her finger, Faiza. I know she’d be pissed if the roles were reversed. I can’t keep ignoring it. It’s bothering me a lot at this point. Especially because instead of answering she always snaps about it and makes me out to be the bad guy. I feel like a chump. Like I don’t have a reason to be upset. It wouldn’t be accepted if it was me. I attached her social so you can see what I’m talking about and tell me if I’m overreacting here. Give me #TheHardTruth.”
DEAR MR.RING,
I can only imagine how frustrating this must be. As a matter of fact, I believe most people- especially women who face this type of shit on a daily at the hands of fuckboys, would understand. A wedding ring is an old and traditionally accepted concept that when a couple makes the decision to say, “I Do,” and place those rings on their fingers, there better be one hell of a good reason to remove them. Some of those reasons may include health issues that disable certain people from wearing jewelry or personal beliefs and preferences about the ring that was mutually shared and understood from the beginning of the relationship. There are also certain jobs where hands are used a lot such as stay at home moms, doctors, surgeons, construction workers, etc., and wearing rings might not be ideal. Even in modeling and acting jobs where you have to get into the character you’re playing and unable to wear the ring or any personal jewelry for that matter. I also know many women who would prefer not to wear their expensive jewelry out and opt to go without their ring or invest in an inexpensive band to wear. Or sadly, I know many who simply can’t afford to buy a ring– although I’ve also seen those people substitue with cereal and vending machine rings. If none of these reasons apply to your wife,
“Houston, we have a potential problem here.”
My question to you Mr. Ring is why you haven’t pressed your wife for an answer as to why she individually chooses to go ringless and instead you’ve settled for her posting a few pictures or videos of you and your beautiful kids. I know they’re beautiful because I indeed stalked your wife’s social media, and it didn’t take me long to notice her, “Single Posting.”
“Single Posting” is when a wife/gf or husband/bf posts on social media in a manner aiming to attract attention from the opposite sex without ever claiming their relationship or partner. Some signs are posting too often about their personal life, selfies or videos in clothes that are too revealing, dropping hints about finding other people attractive and posting about their nights out– all without their partner or any knowledge of their relationship or family. There’s so much more but I think you get my drift. You wouldn’t think these people have a moral responsibility to someone waiting for them at home.
They look available.
Now, keep in mind that many people like to keep their relationships private, but since your wife has posted you and the kids a few times, I think it’s clear to say she’s not exactly hiding you guys. But where the “Single Posting,” is clearly seen is in every picture or video she has during her nights out with the girls, work meetings, and even while at work events— where her ring is nowhere to be found. I mean we see celebrities walk some of the worlds most famous red carpets with their rings ON and if one isn’t spotted— it tends to say there’s trouble in paradise. #TheHardTruth is- the fact that you have no answer because your wife won’t give you one is a big problem. She has some explaining to do that can’t be fixed with yet another filtered post.
My advice would be this, have a conversation with your wife that doesn’t find you settling for pictures or videos of you and the kids on her page as if you’re some fucking sponsor. A real open and honest conversation that gives you the answers you need and so rightfully deserve here. Answers your wife would fucking want were she in your shoes. Say…
“Honey, I know we’ve had this conversation before, but I don’t feel we’ve come to any real understanding of it. I’ve noticed you don’t wear your wedding ring in any of the pictures you post or when you travel. Can you tell me why?”
Let her answer. If she begins to get defensive or tries to deflect, get her back on track, because that’s not how adults communicate and certainly not a couple with three kids who want their relationship to work. It screams guilty. Continue to press for an answer as she undoubtedly has one. Don’t let her treat this like one of the great mysteries of the world. She’s either in or she’s “Single Posting,” because somewhere in her heart (or vag) she wants to be S.I.N.G.L.E. There’s really no in-between.
Go get your answers from the only person who can give them to you: your wife and STOP settling for a couple of posts that could easily have you and your kids mistaken as models for one of her shoots, her friends, or even siblings instead of the man she calls her husband and the unit she calls a family.
Stay FABULOUS,
Faiza
Oh nooooooo. This is wrong. Shame on her. The way she manipulated her husband to make him think he’s the prob. That’s just like my ex and he was so toxic mama. It’s sad that he has three kids with her because they get destroyed by this type of stuff but he needs those answers.
“She’s a hoeeeeee.”
she’s gas lighting him
Where can we submit our questions?? Love you btw
Oop
I know a lot of women like this. So sad
me holding myself from commenting on so many of these types of girls posts asking WHERES YOUR RING GF?? 😂😂😂
I love how you didn’t cut her slack on this. We need more women like you to call other women out. Love you and so glad your back.
Eww. Hate girls and guys like this. I agree with you 100%
She’s for the streets
I’m so glad you’re back OMG
I know a few women like this on social media but that’s none of my business lol
Then girls act like it’s just guys who do this
Thanks for giving thehardtruth.
Girlllllllllllll
The way I had to stop myself from commenting on a girls pics who’s married but she never wears her ring. And then she also goes and posts her husband and family like oh hey I have a family. Like where were they gf. I’ve also heard rumors that she flirts with guys behind his back. It’s brutal out here for sure 😂😂😂
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