Welcome To Expired N Fabulous!

 

For anyone who has followed my blog 51 Fridays, you all know that my father went on a mission to get me married before I reached my marriage expiration date–twenty-five. This is the age Arabs have labeled as “The Day It All Ends” for women. An un-married woman in our culture is looked at worse than a serial killer. Of course, I expired while my father was still alive, which pissed him off beyond belief. Expired N Fabulous follows my journey to find Mr. Right , while taking matters into my own hands, because my family has yet to find any man I’d want to marry. Instead, it’s men they find agreeable and I don’t.

Of course this consistent attempt to marry me off to men of their choosing is exactly the reason I am now expired and un-married. But, not once have I ever been asked what I’m looking for in a man. My family has always taken the lead on the subject, but not anymore. With my father’s family gone (for the time being), I’m going to attempt to find the man I’m interested in marrying all on my own before they return to Chicago and hijack my love life.

So here I am: twenty-seven years old, un-married, still single, and not exactly ready to mingle. I am looking for love, but the probability of that happening now that I am officially BEYOND my expiration date is highly unlikely. It won’t be easy, especially since I’ve depended on my father, uncles, aunt, cousins, hell even the guy who bags my groceries at the corner store, to find a husband for me. But, I’m willing to take the chance if it means falling in love the way that Jane Austen characters do. I’m looking for true love, the sparkle, if it still exists, which I’m sure that it does. And what’s a marriage without sparkle.

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My recent trip to Los Angeles found me with exactly enough time to meet Lily, a twenty-nine-year-old girl who is originally from Indiana. Although her trendy street fashion says LA, her personality remains that of a Midwest girl. As we walked down Canon Drive to view all the high end clothing boutiques and hair salons, Lily asked me all kinds of questions about what I’m currently doing and if I’m still having to meet guys introduced to me by my family. Although I was rather embarrassed to tell her that my family had sort of lost hope in my getting married, I was happy to report that they were so distracted with my sister’s wedding to insist on my meeting anyone as they normally do.

“I’m so tired of the dating scene,” said Lily, obviously frustrated. Lily went on to tell me how she had been on over twenty dates in the past year, had two relationships that didn’t last more than two months, and the longest lasting relationship she’s had in her twenty-nine years was the one between her and Dash, her eight-year-old Rottweiler.

“You complain about arranged marriages and all, but seriously girl, I would LOVE if my family did that for me,” she said. I couldn’t help but stop mid-walk and just look at her perplexed.

“You want an arranged marriage?”

“If it means getting married to a guy my family trusts, have kids, start my fucking life, yeah girl… I want an arranged marriage.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Here I was writing about the things I hated about having my family try to arrange my marriage after way too many bad meetings set by them—nevermind my father arranging my first attempted arranged marriage to my cousin that was unsuccessful. Continue reading

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