It’s The Most “HORRIBLE” Time Of The Year

It’s February 1st.

The month of love.

A month that most single women hate.

And I should know — I was that girl for more years of my life than I can count.

February has become synonymous with Valentine’s Day, which has somehow turned into the most romantic time of the year. The time when men show the women they’re with just how much they love them.

Even fuckboys go the extra mile.

Although let’s be honest — when a fuckboy goes “the extra mile,” it’s usually not about love. It’s about access, optics, securing sex, or showing the internet he’s “that guy.”

(And yes — there is a difference.)

A man shows up consistently, quietly, and without needing applause. He doesn’t crave attention or social media validation in any way. He also doesn’t need February 14th to be generous. He does so year-round

A fuckboy shows up loudly, briefly, and only when there’s something in it for him. He needs a holiday, a caption, and a deadline. Pay attention.

It’s not hard to see why singles resent this month. Or why this tends to my one of my busiest times of the year to repair hearts.

The endless bouquets.
The balloons.
The fact that you can’t get a reservation anywhere because every couple within a fifty-mile radius has locked in their spot weeks ahead of time.

I know this because there was a time when I had what I lovingly call Bitter Woman Syndrome.

It’s a very real phase. One every woman needs to experience.

It’s the period where you despise love, men, romance, weddings, and anyone showing any public displays of affection. It’s usually triggered by heartbreak, betrayal, or — in my case — leaving an abusive relationship – which left me feeling both.

I stayed in that phase for about three years.

Three years was far too long.

But I didn’t have a “me” back then to guide me through it. So there was trial. Error. And a lot of emotional repulsion toward love itself. So much time wasted. So much.

And yet… healing has a funny way of returning you to yourself.

As the years passed, I found myself reconnecting with the part of me that loved love deeply — the part that existed before pain stole it from me.

Which brings me to the question I’ve been asked almost daily for the past two weeks on and off social media:

“Faiza, how does a single or heartbroken woman survive the month of love with her heart — and sanity — intact?“

What if I told you the only way to survive “the month of love,” or more specifically– Valentine’s Day…is to spend it giving yourself all the love you wish a man would give you?

That’s right girlfriend… it’s all on YOU!

You can do this through Galentine’s Day — getting your girlfriends, sisters, cousins together to celebrate love in all its forms.

Or if you don’t have friends to celebrate with — which many women don’t — then I highly recommend what I practiced for years: Self-entines Day.

A day where you go the extra mile for yourself.

Because how can a woman ever expect a man to treat her like royalty if she’s never done it for herself?

I celebrated Self-entines Day for years- I still do.

I bought myself huge Valentine’s cards and wrote myself the most romantic letters imaginable. And yes… I filled the entire damn card.

I bought myself chocolates. I took myself to dinner — even when I felt embarrassed sitting alone–I sat there anyway.

Because I knew I wanted to one day sit across from a man who saw the world only through my eyes — not every pretty face that glanced his way or gave him attention.

I love deeply. Passionately. Devotedly. And I knew I would never be happy with a man who didn’t love the same way. So I became that woman for myself first.

I bought myself flowers.
Lit candles.
Soaked longer in the bath.
Wore beautiful dresses.
Played romantic music just to set the mood — for myself.

Not just Valentine’s Day- but through the entire month.

And every year I remained single, my devotion to myself only deepened. Although there have been a few years as of late that I neglected myself in ways I never will again. 

I knew it was important to become obsessed with myself. Yes… I said obsessed.

Because a hopeless romantic like me could never be with a man who wasn’t just as obsessed — in the healthy way of course.

That’s the only love that would ever satisfy a woman like me.

And here’s the part women don’t always believe:

When you love yourself like this — truly, intentionally, unapologetically — you do attract a man who loves you the same way.

Again… it all starts with YOU!

So my advice to single women this February — the same advice I’ve given myself and been giving every client dreading February, Valentine’s Day, or any other romantic-based holiday through the year— is this:

Celebrate you.

Not just on the 14th.

Every single day.

Buy the chocolates when you see them.
Put on that face mask.
Get the oversized teddy bear.
Put on the perfume you’ve been saving “for a special day.”
Wear the pink, red, white, and silver dresses that scream hopeless romantic.
Stop running from being a lover girl.
Stop apologizing for wanting softness.
Stop treating your capacity for love like a flaw.

Because every woman has a match in this world. Every single one.

And more often than not, that love is waiting on the other side of loving YOU!!

And let’s be honest… isn’t that the most romantic love of all?