I’m Officially Retired

On Valentine’s Day, after nineteen very long years, I retired from one-on-one consulting.

Nineteen years.

I’ve helped daters survive their first heartbreak.
Seventy-year-old widows find love again.
Divorcees rebuild.
Men learn accountability.
Women learn boundaries.
Couples buy their first homes.
Clients find their dream careers.
People heal.

For almost two decades, I have been professionally invested in other people’s becoming.

And this Valentine’s Day, I chose to give myself the most romantic gift I could think of:

My own life back.

Is there anything more intimate than that?

I chose Valentine’s Day intentionally.

Because what greater act of self-love is there than reclaiming your time, your energy, your creative force — and saying:

Now it’s mine.

I’ve “retired” from consulting at least six times in the last six years. Yet… every time I would receive a voice note. A woman sobbing because another man shattered her heart. A client spiraling because they didn’t feel chosen. And I would go back. Because I care deeply. Because I know how to fix it. Because I know how to guide. But here’s the truth no one talks about:

You cannot keep rescuing others if you’ve abandoned yourself.

And I was the Queen of abandoning myself and my dreams for others.

Not because I lacked ambition.
Not because I lacked vision.
But because I lacked capacity.

Rather- you can’t fully build yourself while emotionally holding dozens — sometimes hundreds — of other people at the same time. There is no such thing as infinite energy.

There were seasons where I showed up for my clients and had nothing left for social media. Nothing left for writing. Nothing left for expansion. Nothing left for me.

It’s funny. People ask me constantly, “When are you going to have kids?” And I laugh. Because in many ways — I have. From the ages of fourteen to seventy.

I don’t regret the years.
I don’t regret the service.
I don’t regret the impact.

If anything, I’m proud.

Because when I look back at the people who now:
– found healthy love
– left abusive partners
– bought their first homes
– started businesses
– traveled the world
– healed generational trauma

I know I was part of that blueprint.

And here’s the irony: I know exactly how to build the life I want. Because I’ve spent nineteen years teaching others how to build theirs.

So why did it take me until forty-one to retire? That’s the question that made me cry. Not because I’m afraid of starting over. But because somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard the whispers:

“You’re at the end of your game.”
“Enough of your life has passed.”
“It’s too late to pivot.”

And for a moment — I believed it.

I hated that.

But then something else settled in. What if it’s not late? What if it’s perfect timing? What if the first forty-one years were the apprenticeship… and this is the era of mastery?

Starting over — truly starting over — is one of the most terrifying decisions a person can make. Because it requires standing by your reasons when no one claps.

And the game I need to play now– is one I stepped away from years ago.

Social media.
Teaching at scale.
Producing.
Writing.
Building.

And so here I am.

Forty-one.
No clear roadmap.
No fixed direction.
No tidy five-step plan.

Just something more powerful: A very clear vision.

And when you have vision — even without the details — the possibilities are endless.

I don’t know what’s next. I genuinely don’t. But for the first time in a very long time, I’m not afraid of that. Because I may not know the destination… But I know exactly how to build it. And this time?

I’m building it for me.