There Is No Constant in This Life Besides LOVE

I’ve spent nineteen years teaching people how to heal, how to love, how to build marriages that don’t crumble, and how to face the parts of themselves they’ve spent a lifetime avoiding.

And every time someone says, “You must have it all figured out—since you’re an expert?”

I laugh. Every. Fucking. Time.

What a beautiful, delusional myth—that expertise makes you immune to life’s chaos.
That’s like saying a cancer specialist could never be diagnosed with cancer. Or a psychologist is free of any mental anguish. Not true.

Here’s the truth: I don’t have it all figured out.

Do I have a deep, surgical understanding of love, life, and the human psyche? Yes.
Too deep, some have said.

But have I mastered every lesson I’ve ever taught at forty-one? Not even close.

And maybe that’s exactly the point. Because what I’ve learned—and what I keep learning matters to any woman who’s ever searched for love from the inside out. Especially my Muslim and Arab girls, who are desperate for a guiding light.

But really—these posts are for everyone. Every heart that’s ever asked, “What is love?”

So here’s my first lesson—one I had to relearn recently, somewhere between heartbreak, silence, and my birthday a month ago:

There is no constant in this life besides love.

Read that over and over until it sinks in.

Truly sinks in.

Because we live in a world intent on making you believe in absolutes. Things are black or white. This or that. Right or wrong. Side A or Side B.

That’s the first lie you’re told—and it ruins most of us. There is absolutely a grey area.

Absolutes raise children who become adults that can’t bend. Who mistake control for strength. Who confuse obedience with love. And who grow into tyrants, narcissists, and broken lovers—desperately trying to dominate what they don’t understand. But love isn’t control. Love isn’t fear. This is why I always say you need to choose who you give your love to wisely, just as you need to be careful who you receive it from.

Because the wrong kind of love will destroy you.

Every time a client says, “Faiza, if it weren’t for you, I’d never have found myself or love,”
I know it’s true, because they’ve finally learned what love isn’t.

Most people have no idea what love truly is. I mean absolutely no understanding.

Love can’t be forced, though there are plenty of people out there manipulating it. It can’t be begged for, though too many desperate hearts chase it. Love doesn’t come with ghosts. There’s no “one that got away,” no secret comparisons, no emotional residue from the past. Love isn’t an anchor. It doesn’t weigh you down or demand you change.

True love is tunnel vision—a sailor spotting the one lighthouse that finally guides them home. Love lifts. Love expands. Love brightens.

Love is never perfect, but it is always real.

And just like love, I’m not perfect. I’m flawed and here I am having a rebirth at a time in my life when so many others would be labeled “way ahead of the game.” Yet I haven’t even felt inspired to create for years. Not to write. Not to speak. Not even to post on social media. Nothing lit me up- like really lit me up. Until I started and actually finished my first YouTube series—The EX Files. https://youtu.be/0jdl9yXhaCQ?si=hEO4NVOlqR8puZYe

Then — only then–I found myself wanting to create again.

Espeically when I realized—I wasn’t spiraling. I was burying who I used to be to make space for who I need to become.

Not for a week, a month, or a year. For good. I don’t even know if most of these entries will make sense to anyone other than me, but I’ll take my chances. I must teach. For those of you still wearing masks you were never meant to wear. Smiling when you want to scream. Loving people who stopped deserving you three heartbreaks ago. Pretending you don’t care when your soul is starving to be seen. Playing nice when you need to set it on all on fire.

I’m here to rip the mask off—mine first. The time is now.

Let the games begin.