Memories are the hardest thing for us to erase. We cling to them; good or bad, as stubbornly as a child does to their Halloween candy. Especially, after heartbreak. The bad memories are put aside, and we focus solely on the good, and our yearning to be back in them with the person we imagined a future with. These memories lead to reviewing pictures you both took, texts, email exchanges, and videos you shot together, etc. You review them almost nightly, and cry yourself to sleep, wishing you could go back to that moment in time, when everything seemed possible. It’s hard! It’s very hard!
This week, those feelings are going to get ever harder, because this week is when you erase all of those memories: the pictures, the videos, the texts, the emails, the snaps, etc. This is the week you do it. Now, I know you’re shaking your head and thinking to yourself, “Yeah okay, I’m not doing that,” because it’s all you have left of them. But it’s time! It’s time!
How badly do you want to move on? How badly do you want to start feeling like yourself again? How badly do you want a new start? A new you? A new life? Clinging to the past is not going to serve a purpose. The only purpose you have right now, is YOU!
It’s not going to be easy, whatsoever. I remember the day I erased my memories with my ex: Pan. It was one of the hardest days of my life. The pictures, the videos, the hurt, was all I had left of him, and I didn’t want to lose that. It took me time to realize that I was holding onto a ghost. That those memories, Pan, and the future, I had envisioned with us, was already gone. I was the only one still holding on. That’s when I knew it was time to let go and stop being an emotional masochist. So, I did it! I erased the memories from my phone, laptop, iPad, iPod, etc. But deleting him from my mind was a completely different story. That wasn’t as easy as clicking Erase, but it was a start. Just as it will be for you.
Today is your start!
So, how do you do it? You can’t just click and erase. You’re going to want to look at the pictures for hours, view the videos over, and over again, re-read all the messages, and be filled with regret, hurt, and yearning to reach out. It’s important to remember NOT to do that! This is how to do it.
YOU DESERVE BETTER
Go into your phone, find your Ex’s name, and change it to, ‘You Deserve Better.’ This affirmation is going to be one of the most beneficial healing tools for you. Anytime you reach for your phone, to want to call or text him/her, you will search their name, and ‘You Deserve Better,’ will come up, which will make you think twice before clicking send or call. It’s a reminder that no matter how much you miss them, want them, believe that you need them, you deserve better!
Even if you can’t see that right now, you will in time. So change his/her name. Now!
BLOCK YOUR EX
It’s SO important that your Ex, who’s name should now be, ‘You Deserve Better,’ is on ‘Block’ as he/she should have been since Week 4. This is to avoid you texting or calling them during your erase and reboot process, because the urge will be strong. BLOCK HIM! BLOCK HER! FOR REAL! I’M SERIOUS! DID YOU BLOCK THEM YET? GO DO IT! NOW! THANK YOU!
PICTURES & VIDEOS
Now that your ex is stored as ‘You Deserve Better,’ and he’s/she’s blocked, you can now start revisiting all the pictures and videos you have stored on your phone. A lot of people wouldn’t suggest you do this process. They would say, “Just delete it, don’t look back,” but that’s unrealistic, and my guide to go From Broken, To FABULOUS, in 13 Weeks, is about as realistic as a guide can get. You’re going to look at the pictures. You’re going to watch the videos. Not once, not twice, but over and over and over again. You’ll zoom into that picture, and remember that moment, as clearly as the one you’re sitting in right now. You’ll pause that video in a moment where he/she looks so in love with you, and wonder what happened. How it all changed. When he/she changed. When you changed. It’s NORMAL!
Review them, cry about them, listen to the sad songs as you struggle to swipe through it all. Watch and stare at them for as long as you need to. Then start erasing. These memories serve no future purpose to who you are anymore, or where you’re going. Delete them! Then confirm that deletion. Don’t keep it in your trash where you can revisit anytime you want. Or keep them backed up to your iCloud. Really delete them!
Text messages are very different from photos, and videos, because words last longer than anything. So I am going to HIGHLY suggest you NOT read the text messages, or emails, or any exchanges on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, etc. Delete them. The entire thread! Especially, because after you two broke up, I’m sure the messages turned very, very, ugly. So, why do you want to re-read all of that? You’re not saving them to print out in the future and add to a scrap book, so DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!
The moment it’s deleted, you can’t revisit the texts. They’re gone. Done. Over. Which means you’re one step closer to reclaiming your life and THAT’S what you want. Believe me.
Do NOT play, or erase, voicemails just yet. Hearing his/her voice in videos is hard enough, take things slow. We’ll talk about voicemails next week. This isnot the week.
GIFTS AND PERSONAL BELONGINGS
Any gifts given to you during the relationship, are to be kept where they are for this week. Erasing photos, videos, and messages is hard enough this week. Next week will be the time to do that. Not this week.
If he/she has any personal belongings they need from you, you can either mail it to them, or give it to someone they know. Do NOT use that as any excuse to meet!
This is going to be one hell of an emotional roller coaster for you all! This week was one that I dreaded. I always knew I had to erase him, but knowing and actually doing it, are two very different things. Yet, it helped me start gaining my footing again in a way that found me stronger, wiser, and wide awake.
Also, having the right music to help you feel, but gives you strength, helps. So make sure to download this week’s…
PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK
- Fight Song- Rachel Platten
- Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head – B.J. Thomas
- Siberia- Backstreet Boys
- Gotta Get Through This – Daniel Bedingfield
- Almost Doesn’t Count- Brandy
- Survivor- Destiny’s Child
- Rouh- Maya Nasry
- Jar Of Hearts- Christina Perri
- I’ve Been In Love Before- Cutting Crew
- Clean- Taylor Swift
Remember always, this is NOT ‘The End,’ but your very FABULOUS beginning.