Today, is Day 1 of the day you start working towards recovery, and finding the self confidence you lost during your last relationship. It doesn’t matter if you were the Dumped or the Dumpee, the rest of this journey has you both (Dumped or Dumpee), standing side by side. This is the week you hang up your damn sweatpants, and ripped up tees, get your ass in the shower and start your new normal.
This week is more about assignments than anything else; assignments I am highly encouraging you to stick to! Now, this isn’t about playing a game, notin the least, because I don’t believe in playing games in a relationship. This is about having a strategy. Why do you need a strategy? Well, obviously not so you can get back with your ex, or get him/her jealous, or hope they think you no longer give a fuck, when you do. This is about strategizing your healing, being in touch with your emotions, and taking control of your life. It’s about documenting your healing in such a way, that it will inspire many others, who come across your fearless healing and journey, to take your life into yourhands, to follow your example!
It starts NOW…
I need you to post the following quote on your social media page(s)
Enough… Enough now!
This infamous line comes from the movie, ‘Love Actually,’ and it stands out to me so much, because it’s basically summarizing your 4 weeks of this ‘From Broken, To FABULOUS’ journey, perfectly. You cried and went through your emotions. You were brave enough to confront your ex and try to seek closure. Then, you bared through the feels that came from every bit of it. You tried! You did what you could. You loved with all your heart. You gave every bit of yourself, and it didn’t work, but not because of you, but because it just was NOT destined to be. It wasn’t; it isn’t. So enough trying. Enough holding on to someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Enough hoping they’ll change, and be the person you fell in love with. Enough wishing certain things hadn’t happened, been said, or acted on. Enough! It’s time to focus on YOU! Enough… post it!
Saturday and Sunday, I need you to get outdoors and become one with nature. It could be walking through the park, sitting on a bench, watching the sunset, parked on the side of the road looking out at the May flowers, in full bloom. Anything that gets you out and in a free space that you can just simply be one with yourself. I know that the last thing you probably want is to be alone, with your thoughts, because they keep going back to your ex, but this is very important! You need to get comfortable doing these types of things alone, at first. You’re going to spend the rest of your life with YOU, so get comfortable with yourself and spending time with you, yourself, and you! Besides, it’s normal to think about your ex, to relive memories, to cry, and wish they were there with you; that you could call them, just to hear their voice one last time. This is all perfectly normal, so STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM NORMALITY.
When you’re in the moment, on whatever day feels most appropriate, I want you to pull out your phone and take a picture of the scenery and post it on your social media page(s). Not in the hopes that your Ex will see where you’re at, and come running to you, like Whitney Houston, in the music video, ‘Run To You.’ No! It’s rather so you can put the following caption:
I have never hurt as much as I do right now, but I know this is all part of my rebirth, and journey to reclaim my life, in a way I never thought possible. #FeelToHeal
This is one of the most important posts you’re going to write. It’s a strong woman, putting her feelings out to the world, not through some cryptic message, or downloaded quote. But you being real and honest about your hurt, and not caring what anyone says, least of all, your ex. Sure you might hesitate because you don’t want him/her to think you’re hurting over them,but you are and this is so fucking normal- stop making it not! You fell in love with someone, you made plans based off that love, hopes, and dreams, you wanted to see come to fruition with this person, and now that’s over. That’s a hard reality to face and it hurts. So, let it hurt. Better that you hurt than feel nothing.
Being that you know your schedule, better than I do, I trust you will do the below regiment on the days and times that work best for you.
MAKE SURE TO ACTUALLY DO THIS!
STOP MAKING EXCUSES
Okay, I’m done yelling…
What better way to reclaim your life, than getting the body you’ve always wanted, and burning off those calories from all the shit you’ve been eating, during your many emotional food binges. Nothing makes us feel more confident than when we feel good in our own skin; whatever size or shape that happens to be. Don’t let society, or an ex, tell you what a beautiful body is suppose to look like. Go get your beautiful, and remember, healthy is beautiful at any size. Besides, the gym is a great place to de-stress.
When you’re out burning the calories, and feeling pumped with energy you haven’t had in a while, because of the stress of all the hurt you’ve been through, the past 4 weeks, I want you again to pull out your phone, again, and get to snapping; or maybe do a video even . It could be of your gymshoes, you walking on the treadmill, a mirror selfie of you flexing after the workout, anything- be creative.
Post that selfie or video and caption it:
New start, means, putting in the work, not only mentally and emotionally, but physically (insert flexing emoji)
Again, this is NOT about putting on a phony front for your ex, or anyone else, for that matter. This is about actually making the effort to change your life. So, don’t walk into the gym, take a picture of your Nike’s, and leave. Work! Make the effort to change your life! Don’t continue putting on a façade.
I want you to go get a coffee, as the FABULOUS version of you, that’s deep inside you and wanting to come out, but doesn’t, because of embarrassment, discomfort, or any other excuse you’ll come up with. I want you to go into your closet and find a two inch pair of heels. I want you to strut into that coffee shop and order your coffee. No drive thru’s. Come on, now! Get your ass out of the car, strut your way into that coffee shop, order your damn coffee, and sit your ass down, DAMMIT! You’re FABULOUS! Act it!
When you’re sitting your FABULOUS ass down to drink your coffee, I want you, to once again, take your phone and take a picture of your coffee and heels, like this:
Me, Myself & Coffee
This says, I’m not about the rebound life, or running away from my emotions. I’m all about me right now… and coffee.
WEEK 5- DO NOT’S
- Do NOT unblock your ex. Everything that needed to be said, and done, was said and done. This is now about you. Not him/her.
- Do NOT start posting cryptic posts to try and send some message to your ex. I’m investing the time in helping guide you, with social media posts that allow you to move forward, not stay stagnant.
- Do NOT think posting pictures, videos, or snaps of you out with your girlfriends/guy friends partying, is going to make your ex jealous. If anything, they’ll be thinking, “Thank God, it’s over!” It almost always backfires. Leave it alone.
- Do NOT make up fake social media accounts to try and make contact with your ex, in an attempt to find out what he/she are up to, or if they’ll flirt with you, or your fake account. STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PHONE!
- Do NOT download some fake phone number app, to reach out to your ex in the hopes of hearing his/her voice, again. He/She knows it’s you. 100% STOP!
- Do NOT make contact with any of his/her friends, or family, to find out how he/she is, or if it looks like they’re missing you. Even IF they do miss you, they will never let you know it, or anyone else, for that matter. But remember, it’s not about them anymore, it’s all aboutyou. Focus on your heartbreak, your recovery, your healing.
If, for any reason, you’re feeling the need to reach out to your ex, utilize my, ‘Message To MY Ex,’ Tab. That’s what it’s there for.
Stay strong, and if you find yourself needing some good ass jams, I now present to you: your Playlist of the Week. That’s right! Not a song, a playlist.
PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK
Because you all love my jams, so much, I figured I would make a 10 song playlist for you weekly, that not only helps you feel to heal, but gives you that hope, happiness, and feel good vibe, that may even find you jamming away in your car or bedroom.
- Best Thing I Never Had- Beyonce
- I Bet- Ciara
- All You Had To Do Was Stay- Taylor Swift
- Too Little Too Late- Jojo
- Fuck Apologies- Jojo
- Impossible- Shontelle
- Send My Love To Your New Lover- Adele
- I Wanna Dance With Somebody- Whitney Houston
- These Boots- Nancy Sinatra
- Clean- Taylor Swift
Every night, from now, until the day you no longer need it, I want you to listen to Number 10- Taylor Swift’s ‘Clean.’ This song was a HUGE part of my healing. When I first heard it, I use to cry, and wish, and hope, that I could feel the way she does in the song. Then, slowly, it happened.
I started healing more and more every single day.
To feeling, healing, and saying hello to the FABULOUS person hidden inside the temporary shell, that is heartbreak.
Stay strong and remember, it can’t rain all the time!