Hello. It’s me: Your Heartbreak Coach. If you followed my post from last week, you messaged your ex, in the hopes of having a conversation either in person, or via telephone. Some of you may have received a response, and if you did, you waited the three days, as I suggested to meet or call him. Then, there are those of you who didn’t receive a response and are feeling sad, humiliated, and probably saying to me, “I wish you never convinced me to do that!”I don’t want you to feel that way, because this is all about seeking your closure if possible, and there should not be a level of pride that restricts you from getting something you need. We should always have pride, but if it restricts us in ways it doesn’t have to, simply so we don’t humiliate ourselves, because we don’t want to look like we care, or are hurt, then that’s detrimental for this particular journey. Remember, my From Broken, To FABULOUS guide is meant to help you feel to heal. You have to feel through your emotions. Not push them away because of pride. This is NOT From Prideful, To FABULOUS!!!
So, what next, you’re wondering? What does last week mean to my closure?
HE/SHE RESPONDED, BUT DON’T WANT TO TALK (HE/SHE HURT YOU)
He/She hurt you. You want answers. So you sent the text I suggested you send to your ex, but they said they don’t want to meet or talk. What a jerk, huh?! I mean they hurt you! You deserve answers! Why the fuck can’t they have the common decency to give them to you; after everything you’ve been through together. Bullshit! Now, do you remember when I said some of you might receive your closure in a way you don’t necessarily see, or actually consider to be closure? You fall into that category.
I need you to understand how your ex’s deuch-baggery is your closure. Your ex believes he/she got the power and they’re going to execute that power. To them, your reaching out to them, doesn’t show a strong woman/man in control of his/her feelings, but rather a desperate woman/man who still wants them. To your ex you’re only using the excuse to talk so you can find ways to get them back; which they don’t want, because they’re the prize. *Puke. THIS is the closure you were seeking! You were NOT with someone who valued you, your emotions, or your well-being enough to even accommodate some time to help you find peace. They’re not taking into consideration the time you spent together, or the memories you built, and the future you planned. They don’t give a fuck! He/She wants it done, and they don’t want to have to talk about it anymore. They just wants to move on and that’s not right! If he/she was the reason the relationship ended ( i.e. he/she cheated, hurt you, but has zero accountability, etc,), they should give you their time. Even because of just that: they have no accountability. They think of no-one but themselves. You deserve better! You deserve better! YOU DESERVE BETTER!
Now, BLOCK HIS/HER NUMBER! For REAL! Don’t bullshit through this guide! Don’t tip toe around it. Today starts full force healing and to show them every bit of what they took for granted. What they didn’t appreciate. What they will NEVER have again!
- Block his/her number
- Block him/her from all your social media accounts
- Cut off any connections that are affiliated with him/her. This is all about YOU now! Love yourself enough to do everything just mentioned. It’s yourtime now!
HE/SHE NEVER RESPONDED
That IS your closure! If you were the one that was dumped, what a dick! You weren’t with someone who gives a fuck; now it’s time for you to heal through this and start working on becoming FABULOUS! Show them what they ignored. Show them the powerful woman/man you are going to become. Let him/her sit his/her ass in the background where they belong! Smooth Sails, God Speed, Sir/Ma’am!
I CHEATED ON HIM/HER AND THEY DON’T WANT TO MEET OR TALK
I’m sorry for that, but you have to understand that cheating is a huge betrayal of trust in a relationship. Your ex is feeling the sting and rejection of such a horrible discovery. Now, I don’t say this to make you feel even worse than you already do, but rather to try and make you understand that this reaction they’re having, is normal. They’re hurt. They should be, but that doesn’t mean you sit around crucifying yourself for this. It was a bad mistake. Have remorse, feel badly, but understand that you’re human. Human beings make mistakes. Maybe you were unhappy, trying to fill a void, or just thinking stupidly; it was a mistake. You tried to get your closure, but understand your ex can not give that to you. You have to learn to forgive yourself and move on to find your closure within yourself. They also have to do the same. Leave them be and focus on you. Yes, you!
I REACHED OUT, WE MET/SPOKE, AND NOW I’M HURT ALL OVER AGAIN
This is normal. You made a huge step. You removed the bandaid over the bullet hole of your heartbreak, and now it’s time to properly stitch it up. You might be reliving the moments over and over again in your mind. You might have more questions now, than ever. Or… you might just be missing them, so badly, now that you saw them all over again. I get it. But you did it! You met your ex, and you hopefully followed the guide enough to prepare yourself by asking the questions you really needed to ask; but you still have more questions. These will not be answered by your ex. They are now questions you must search within yourself to find the answers to. After meeting my ex, I walked away with 40% closure. I had to fill the other 60%. Time answered, and the revelations it revealed, healed the other 60%. I had to look to myself and I found the answers I needed there. You will now have to do the same, and you’re probably thinking to yourself, “I don’t want to have to do that on my own!” But you also didn’t want to be heartbroken, or even dealing with the pain you feel today. However, you MUST! You’re shedding your skin right now. Preparing your mind, body, and soul, for the road ahead. It’s a long one, but it’s a beautiful one… I promise you.
Heartbreak changes your life. It literally transforms it. You might not be seeing it as a blessing in disguise today, because you live in the past, and want answers, closure, and peace. But time will pass, and when enough of it has passed, the only time you’ll look back, is to remind yourself, of how far you’ve come.
SONG OF THE WEEK
This week’s song of the week, was one that was on replay every single day of my heartbreak recovery, and that is: Ciara-I Bet
This song, well, just hear it.
You can do this Penguins! Stay strong! And remember NOT to message your Ex. Use my ‘Message To My Ex,’ Tab to release any of your frustration, or simply to vent. From this week on, it’s no longer about your ex, but about your healing. Time to get you FABULOUS!!!