I’ve been broken-up with my Ex for about a year now. The relationship was pretty intense; it was so emotionally and physically draining that I had to leave. He hurt me so much – to the point where I don’t ever want to see him again. Even though it’s been a year since I’ve seen him, I always end up thinking about him in some way. I always think about what would happen if I saw him one more time. Sometimes, I want to reach out to him, but I know he will try to work things out in an attempt to get me back. Is this normal? How do I stop myself from thinking about him?
Dear Broken Hearted Girl,
Ending a relationship is a very painful experience. I mean, a girl can slip into an almost vegetative state until things start feeling normal again. Even if it’s been a year, you’re going to miss your ex. You’ll want to call him, reach out to him, hear his voice, see him. This is ALL normal. I just hit my tenth month of healing since my breakup and, to this day, I often find myself faced with memories that come to me in flashbacks.
The Hard Truth is this: feelings cannot be turned on or off as easily as a light switch. Sucks… I know. I wish they could. That yearning to contact him is not going to leave you right away. I know, I know… it SUCKS! Believe me! But the unfortunate thing about heartbreak is that for all of the time you spent in love, you’ll spend just as much time mourning the loss of that love. Therefore, the itch to contact him will linger for some time. But there is a way to combat the itch and no it’s not Cereve… it’s with bad memories. Every time I have the slightest inkling of a desire to contact my ex, I remember the bad times – things that were said or done, anything that reminds me of EVERY reason I decided to end things with him. I remind myself of every reason why things would never work with him even if I tried. These reminders constantly make me run far, far away and justify the reasons I knew it wouldn’t work, no matter how much I once loved him. Lonliness is one of the reasons you’re still thinking about him, so find ways to fill that void by spending time with friends or family (those who make you feel alive and happy) take up a new hobby (This is what started me on my artistic path). And then, perhaps since it’s been a year, try to open your heart to the possibility of falling in love again. The potential to create new beautiful memoires with a man who’ll treat you right far outweigh the memories of your ex who did not.
Grieve the loss of this relationship, but open your heart again to the magic that awaits a heart ready to love again. I hope that you find happiness, love, and more sparkle than a girl can dare to dream of.
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