Meet The Parents

They say you can break a habit in ninety days. I didn’t believe this because I couldn’t break away from Pan even when all the signs screamed RUN! I knew he wasn’t good for me, and yet day after day I found myself drawn closer to him. It wasn’t only because of the natural connection that happens between two people who shish kabob, but it was also that Pan always knew how to say and do the right things at the right time.

When I would second guess my fearlessness about writing an article that would have been very risqué for a Muslim Arab girl to write, Pan was there to remind me to be fearless, “fuck what everyone says,” and think about me. When I was stressed with work, he would call me up, crack a few jokes; then ask me to sneak out of the house for a minute, and meet him down the corner from my house, where he waited with a few dozen flowers.

Or when I was feeling guilty and shameful for no longer being a Verfied V, and about our dating, Pan would remind me that it was us against the world, and that the community, or people’s opinions didn’t matter because he was, “In it to win it.” We weren’t “just dating,” we were going to get married. This Pan was certain of. I discovered I wasn’t as certain when he called to tell me that he had scheduled a dinner for me to meet his family.

I remember literally dropping the phone when he told me.

“I thought we were gonna take things slow,” I asked after picking my phone up off the floor.

“This is totally chill and laid-back babe, nothing serious,” he said in his usual dismissive manner.

I did my best to make him understand how serious a step it is to meet the parents, especially in our circumstances, not only because we were both Muslim Arabs who were NOT supposed to be dating, but also my family wouldn’t be present to protect my reputation, as well as their own. I mean, we don’t bring a girlfriend or boyfriend over our parents’ house unless we’re ready to get engaged by the end of that week.

Pan insisted that his family was not like the Musrab’s in the community. That I didn’t have to worry about his parents being so rigid, because they were “Americanized.” To many in the Arab community, being labeled “Americanized,” is usually an insult. To those who use that word, it translates to: having no decency, no self respect, or value for reputation. In other words, normal every day human beings living their lives as they see fit. Everything reputation clinging families don’t want their kids to do.

Now, you should understand that although today I see reputation for what it is: a huge mind fuck– at that time I believed, like so many do, that it was EVERYTHING to me. It defined me. It allowed me to walk out of my house with my head held high, gaze lowered. Never making eye contact with a man unless I wanted rumors to be spread and to be labeled a dating slut because “if she looks at a man, she’s doing the man.”
And yes… I’ve had this said about me many many times.

So despite Pan’s insistence, I didn’t feel comfortable meeting his family for fear they may judge me, because let’s just put the gaunlet down and say it, “IN THE ARAB CULTURE, GUYS CAN GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING A WOMAN NEVER COULD!” They wouldn’t judge their son for dating, but they sure as fuck would judge me, because a woman should know better.

Pan refused to understand my reasoning for wanting to take a LONG raincheck on that dinner, which mind you, was scheduled for that night. He argued that I wasn’t serious about our relationship and that if I were serious, I would have no problem meeting his family. And I think it was at that moment it hit me that he was right: I wasn’t sure if I could spend the rest of my life with him.

Do you even have a choice? I wondered.

After giving him my V, could I ever really leave? Would he tell anyone? He didn’t care about reputation, so would he protect mine? If I walked away, would he make me pay? I didn’t know for certain. A part of me said stay, and another part, the part deep inside, said leave. I stayed, because no matter what Pan said. Or did to me, I always saw the best in him. Love will do that to you and when I love- it’s fucking real.

I will never change that, but I have learned that you have to first know what love REALLY is, and then you have to have even bigger standards on who you give that love to. But at that time, I loved him and I believed he loved me too, so it was worth the risk.

I didn’t want Pan to feel like I wasn’t serious about us, so I agreed to meet him at the Ford City Mall parking lot, where I would jump into his car, and we would drive over to his parents house together. We were scheduled to meet at 4:30pm. I was at the mall at 4:00pm. My excitement to see Pan, almost always erased my logic. I could be questioning every part of what was us in my head, at one moment, and the moment he pulled up, it was erased. He had me…and he knew it. There wasn’t a request he could have that I wouldn’t agree to. There wasn’t a word he could say, or an action he played out, that I wouldn’t have found some way to rationalize, forgive, or defend.

I jumped into his car with such a huge level of excitement, only to have him ask me to step back out, so that he could look at my ensemble and see if it was appropriate. I wore a black long sleeve top, with a grey skirt that covered my knees, that I tied together with a pair of Michael Korrs pumps. Although he approved of the length, he said he would rather the skirt be more loose.

“I thought your family wasn’t strict?” I said as I stepped back into the car.

“They’re not, but I don’t want anyone else to see your body besides me,” he said as he took my hand in his.

“I really hope your family isn’t strict because I don’t wanna have to deal with explaining myself to anyone,” I said.

I never wanted to be in a position where I had to explain why I was going against a cultural and Islamic belief, and dating, knowing very well what a taboo it is. But Pan insisted that his family was different and that I shouldn’t be uncomfortable meeting them, if I was in fact serious about “us.”

“And I hope you are serious especially after everything,” he said referring to us shish kabobbing. There was no way that Pan could make me feel more crippled than to question my morality or values, whether that be directly, or indirectly. It was always at times like that that I questioned if I really wanted to be with him, or if I was only with him out of fear of being judged by him or anyone he might tell.

He could tell I wasn’t exactly comfortable. It was always at times like that when Pan would find a way to make me completely forget about my cares or worries, as if somehow his words, jokes, or actions were sprinkled with Pixie Dust. When we clashed, it was a volcanic eruption, but when our souls were in harmony, it was like the aurora borealis. The time we spent together always went fast and the drive to meet his parents house was no exception.
When he pulled up to the driveway, I felt like I wanted to regurgitate. The level of nervousness running through my body was almost overbearing. I tried to put on a confident face in front of Pan who was flashing the widest smile I had ever seen.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I lied flashing a fake confident smile.

We made our way into the house where his parents stood waiting to greet me with wide smiles.

“Assalamu Alaikum,” I initiated, only to feel like a disgraceful piece of shit. I mean… there I was, a Muslim girl, offering an Islamic greeting to the parents of the guy I was dating, knowing very well that dating doesn’t exist in our faith. However, when both parents replied with a “Wa Alaikum Salam,” and firm non judgemenatal handshakes, I felt comfortable. I was led into the kitchen where I met his siblings who were already seated at the table and ready to eat the dinner that was ready to serve. There wasn’t any conversation in the first part of the night; dinner was served and we ate in complete silence.

This wasn’t strange to me as conversations weren’t held at the dinner table in my home growing up as-well. My dad, Allah yerhamo (God Rest His Soul) always believed that dinner wasn’t a time to talk, but rather a time to thank God and enjoy the food. Conversation was bad for digestion, he’d say, and so most of the time we’d eat in near silence. So, Pan’s family’s dinner talk, or lack thereof, wasn’t foreign to me. If anything, I was grateful for it. It allowed me the opportunity to be observant, which normally puts my mind at ease.
As dinner came to an end, his siblings excused themselves, and it was only Pan, his parents, and I.

“Does your family know about what you two are doing?” his mother asked nonchalantly.

“Mama, let it go,” injected Pan.

“I can’t ask a question,” she snapped back. “I just wanna know if you’ve met her family and how they feel about all of this.”

The truth was, my family didn’t know about my relationship with Pan just yet. I had insisted that he was a co-worker, because boyfriend was not a title I could even bring myself to say. I figured that if the relationship turned out to be naseeb (destinty) then I would tell them that we worked together and fell in love. But I wouldn’t admit to dating him. Not yet. I was still playing tug of war against both worlds: the ancient and the modern. I couldn’t make sense and stand by what I believe when I was still living as an interloper in between both.

“You know dating isn’t accepted in Islam,” added his father. “You want to do things right, especially because your father isn’t here.”

All a person had to ever do, was bring up my father to make me lose myself in a well of emotions. My dad was always a sensitive subject for me because I knew what his expectations were for me. I knew every bit of what he would have approved and disapproved of, and yet… there I was. The shame I knew my dad would feel at seeing me in that home, with the parents of the guy I was dating, would have killed my father. I knew this.

I still do.

I looked straight at Pan feeling completely betrayed never mind humiliated. He’d said his family wasn’t conservative or like the community, and yet there I was being lectured. Pan could read the frustration on my face and jumped into the conversation to tell his parents that we weren’t here to play games, and that we were in fact thinking about getting married. They wanted a date. Pan said he couldn’t give them one just yet. While I sat there wondering if that day would ever really come.

Pan was clearly frustrated by it all and said we had to leave. He ran upstairs to say goodbye to his brothers and sisters and told me to head to the car. I didn’t feel right leaving abruptly like that, so I waited for him to come back downstairs, as his parents stood to one corner side by side. The awkwardness of it all, made the room heavy and me feel suffocated. I wasn’t angry at them for standing by their beliefs, but rather at Pan for putting us all in the situation.

“Thank you for having me over for dinner,” I said trying to lift the discomfort and make the moment less awkward.

“Our pleasure,” said his mother. “Oh! I’m so glad I remembered,” she said before excusing herself and entering the room again with a gift bag. “We got this for you,” she added handing me the gift bag and urging me to open it. I began to do so just as Pan came downstairs.

“What’s that?” he asked me.

“We got her a little something,” answered his mother.

Inside was a bottle of Juicy Couture perfume. I graciously thanked them, and after Pan hugged his mother and shook his fathers hand, we made our way to the car and went on our way.

“You told me…” I began only to be interrupted by Pan who yelled, “Don’t start! I don’t wanna hear about it.”

“Stop shutting me down like that,” I angrily said. I couldn’t continue to remain quiet to Pan. I couldn’t continue to let him believe the louder he got, the more I shut down. I couldn’t let him win, only so he would stay.

“I look so bad in front of your family now,” I said. “You told me they weren’t traditional.”

“Who gives a fuck. So they are. They’re not gonna stop us from talking.”

“This isn’t about us talking, this is about the lack of respect your family must have for me knowing very well they don’t approve of this!”

“Respect?! You’re so fucken dramatic,” he said. “They don’t give a fuck!”

“WHY did you bring me here knowing your family wouldn’t approve of it?” I said angrily.

“You keep promising me you’ll stop treating me like I’m not a part of this relationship and you’re not!”

Pan punched his steering wheel hard twice while driving forcing him to pull the car over to tend to his hand.

They say you learn a lot about a person when they’re angry. I learned that day that Pan, was NOT in control of his anger. We sat in complete silenece. I didn’t know how to react. So I waited for Pan to make the first move, say the first word, do something, anything. He lifted his head and looked over at me. Our eyes met and just for a moment, the world became quiet.

He smiled

I tried

He cupped my face with his hands

I tried not to pull away

He leaned over and pressed his forehead against mine

And just like that… he had me again.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just don’t wanna see you hurt.”

“Then don’t hurt me,” I said.

“I won’t!” He said it so confidently that despite everything that had happened up to that moment…

I believed him.

Until next week…

60 thoughts on “Meet The Parents

  1. Love this… Touched me deeply… Big hug to you!🖤

  2. Omg! This kid is a total waste.

  3. so touching

  4. So we’ll written and beautiful! Thank you for sharing..cant wait till next week
    Thanks for sharing your story with us

  5. Thank you for sharing

  6. For an Arab living in the US I can relate to everything you are saying so well!!! And I just love how there is someone out there speaking up about it

  7. It’s the same in the Asian community too. The guys never gets told off for doing anything but girls are not allowed to break the rules of society.

    You’re such an inspiration and honestly so many of us can relate to your story. So proud of you girl …you’re so brave and beautiful inside and out xxx

  8. I’m sure that any girl in your situation would have done the same , Pan has the charm that any girl would fall for. Just I hope you never lose your strength cause you give a lot of it to me and to millions of people who look up to you ! My sister and I are big fans of yours ! We love you so much Faiza and always relate to you! Very inspirational !! ❤

  9. omgg i ❤ ur blogs .. honestly was waitinggg . i m so late to read this .💔💔💔

  10. Hi mama penguin. I love you! Whenever i feel down, i would go to your YouTube page to listen to your videos. They cheer me up all the time. Thank you for that. Keep rocking and i love how bold you are to share your story with us! Can’t wait for the next one, next week! ♡ xoxo.

  11. As a Muslim, one always goes into dating thinking that the intention is to get to know the person for marriage/nikkah… however, shaitan is there to make things bad for you… whispering lust inciting things into your ears when you are both alone with each other, and before you know it, you give in to that lust and the intention takes a back seat. Now, you’re knowingly indulging into your lusts and your intention is blurry. Hence why dating is not recommended as it is dangerous territory – as much as we didn’t want to, we give in and fall to our weaknesses – those lustful desires. And we fail in the test. Hence why it’s not recommended for a girl and a boy to be alone with each other, and “date”. The shame we feel having entered into dating territory, having done “wrong things” with that person, is our soul redirecting us onto the right path – stop, repent and don’t do it again. Of course, it’s hard to get out, until we are forced to break up with that person, we don’t see it (although we know what we’re doing is wrong) until we are actually made to. Even this is a blessing from Allah as He is trying to bring you back to the right path. You learn from your mistakes. And I’ve read jannah is full of repenters and Allah likes the crying of a sinner better than the one reading prayer beads in arrogance. Perhaps this experience humbled you. The experience was there to teach you something about yourself. It was as Allah willed it. Whenever you’re sad, don’t turn to music, again, that’s the shaitan winning. Instead, turn to reading your 5 prayers a day… turn to reading them on time, turn to making dua, repenting to Allah for your sins, crying out to Allah saying you’re sorry and to give you the ease with this hardship. Allah can give you everything, place your trust in Him alone and He will suffice you. Renew your intentions. Be close to Allah. Serve your parents – never underestimate the power of a mother’s dua. You’re lucky you have yor mother – Jannah lies under her feet – love her, make her happy and she may make dua for you which changes your life. Whatever calamity brings you close to Allah is better than a blessing that turns you away from Him. Perhaps your relationship was making you neglect your duties to your parents and your religion, even this is a thinking point. Read the stories of the prophets in the Quran, how they were tested and how they overcame. The wives of the prophets, Mary, Zulaikha (who was tested by the beauty of Yusuf), there’s so many stories that we can relate to. Love, lust, its all mentioned in the Quran. It’s in these pearls we find relief… not in music. Not in going against our religion.

    1. Let’s admit it arab guys are piggs. They want to sleep with every possible girl and then marry virgin girl all dressed up in black that will never speak her mind and will only stay at home.

  12. My dear Faiza, at first I want to apologise for my bad English! I’m your biggest fan from Germany 🇩🇪 I’m one of your first follower you have no idea what an inspiration you are for me in my life ! I started following you when I was still with my (ex boyfriend ) subhan allah back then he said what a nonsense woman you are but I believed nach then and now I do that I need woman like you in my life! I’m org From Iraq but I grew up my whole life in Germany so I’m like you stocked between to be a good Muslim girl and at the same time trying to become a self confident woman like the Europe woman are! My ex got married 2 days ago and yes not to me lucky for his mum I heard she danced all the night long because she was so f**** happy that it wasn’t me who is marrying her baby boy ! I wasted almost 3 years of my life with him, may not sound much but you know all the pain he made me feel the guilt and the fact that he is 3 years younger than he always said I’m too old ( I’m 27 ) he always said we have to marry soon and to become kids other wise you will be to old wtfff! I broke up with him in June 2017 and one month later I heard he got engaged with a 19 years old girl well I think his and his mums dream finally came true! To have a young girl and of course a virgin! Because I’m divorced woman and you know that means in our culture like a black sheep ….. Faiza I feel since I have broke up with him so much pain I never talked to him since then and I don’t want but why do I cry everyday ! It’s the best thing that happend to me when I broke up with him but eventhough I’m suffering everyday and I’m trying to get myself from broken to fabulous so please help me and and other people who are in pain to get fabulous again and to feel happy and comfortable with ourselves…. much love and kisses and thank you for being always there Mama Pinguin …. XOXO

    1. Hey.. ich komme auch aus Deutschland und ich bin zwar nicht aus dem Irak, aber auch ich mache eine Trennung durch und mir geht es sehr schlecht. Wenn du jemanden zum Reden brauchst, sag Bescheid 🙂 Auf Instagram heiße ich nwnnww

  13. Am from libya and i can relate to u so much! I too come from a very traditional culture so stuck in outdated believes and traditions and dont seem like they wld ever change! Exactly like u said giving the right for men to do whatever they want and girls to be shamed if they ever did something wrong! Sadly women participate in that too for ex: my mom if i ever opened the subject to her she wld say “الشب ما بعيبو شي” ! Women accepted this culture and started to shame other women who decide to live their lives according to their own rules! Am so glad that u have the courage to tell us ur story its so inspiring and a source of hope! Keep being you and keep shinninggg 💕💕💕

  14. Your story is very interesting to me and I think you’re an incredible human being for overcoming what you have, but I have to say that your depiction of the Arab Muslim culture is at times too generalized. There’s no doubt in my mind that it is in fact that way in your community/area of residence, but I cannot say it represents the entire culture. Sadly (and quite commonly), it represents the strict Immigrant Muslim Arab culture that tends to blow the culture’s traditions/religious beliefs/decorum out of proportion in an attempt to counteract the influence of the Western culture in which they are raising their children. You see, immigrants tend to uphold their country’s traditions much more firmly than those still living in the country. And funnily enough, those living in the country will oftentimes surpass the immigrants in “Americanization” (due to globalization in general) while the immigrants stubbornly hold onto beliefs that are based more on outdated traditions than actual religion. So when you say “dating doesn’t exist in our faith”, it makes me laugh a little, as I’m sure you don’t believe there is a religious ban that says “do not date”. It is more of an outdated cultural ban. I am a Muslim girl living in an Arab country and I can assure you that no one expects you to marry someone without getting to know them (or that something like that even exists in the 21st century). Arab people are well aware of the fact that dating does not necessarily mean shish kabobbing. What you do physically with that person is between you and your God. The physical aspect is the only religious constraint, but going out with and getting to know the person you’ll be spending the rest of your life with is most certainly not. So even though most of us native Arabs can see that you are depicting the culture from an immigrant stance, other people will undoubtedly think that these outdated traditions are a part of the modern Muslim Arab culture, and they aren’t. I understand that this may not make a lot of sense to second generation immigrants who have spent most of their lives trying to find an arguably nonexistent balance between the extremes of two cultures (through no fault of their own) but I just thought I would offer you some insight from a different outlook.

  15. Be careful & never ignored tge red flag i see here by the violent reaction of punching the wheel it means hes agressive & he can do the same to you one day. This is a serius warning red flag alert to run away from violebt rant ofsomeone who doesnt have control of emotions. Ive have a friend who just divorced the 2nd husband because he punched her in the face. I asked her but there must have been sone red flags you did ignored when you dated him &she told mehe showed the same begavior this guy just did. Also the fact that he lied about parents been americanized its another unacceptable. He lied & had clearly violent behavior. I think is better raise standards & never settle for questionable behaviors.

  16. You are so brave to write this down for all of us to read. Thank you for this, so many can relate to what you went through including me. I cant even begin to explain how good it feels to know that i’m not alone, we’re not alone, we have each other and we all struggle the same way.

  17. Wow… I am a Palestinian American and have been following you on social media for a while now. I am just so amazed of how great of a person you are. It takes a lot. Everything you went through and putting yourself out there. I love these little articles hope you can keep writing and make a book one day.

  18. Wow. Yea i can relate. So much things to say. Hearing about you went through makes me revisit that last relationship. We see the red flags they’re there. Waving in our face !!!! And we stay. Never again faiza! The next guy will value our timeline and beliefs. Makes me sad in a way because i sacrificed my beliefs to make him happy. Wow. We lost who we are in a way. The person we fought so hard to become and we overlooked ourselves for someone else’s happiness. Big hug my love. Our hearts have bled the same… keep sharing.

  19. I was waiitinng for this saturday’s blog entry and i slept off waiting at this page :”((

    Just woke up andd read this chapter🖤🔥

    Penguuiiiinnnnnnn
    Maanyyyy of your followers can relate to your vulnerability uncertainty and confusion that you have felt and i am from that majority who has gone thru this part in their lives whr they love with evrythin they’ve gott and their hearts are ripped n slammed because they even believed in love and a “happily ever after”

    But an experience can be that learning curve which helps in realizing our self worth and our expectations!!
    Soo haapiieee to have found you faiza 🖤🖤
    *sqqueealinnng and insert a haapyy daanceee*

    Life doesnt give many chances and even if u can find one.. our hearts dont ..
    You make me wana give life another chance..

  20. I’m a huge fan but I think I am left really confused by everyone’s comments that he’s a D. He got you flower, made you laugh and went on the limb to bring you to his house for you to start being a part of his family. I think his parents had YOUR back believe it or not, they wanted their son to marry you to protect your reputation. They got you perfume, although it wasn’t the perfume you like, it was a really kind gesture. I’m Muslim/Arab and I understand tradition and religion and I really think your ex was trying to accommodate to you and his parents the only way he knew. Punching the steering wheel, yesI get it but we all act irrational sometimes (not an excuse, but no one is perfect) I guess I will wait for the rest 🙂

  21. I dont know i mean how to react at this. Umm you write so well there’s no second thought in that! Currently what m going through is that m feeling afraid of falling in love again(as previously i was rejected by someone and i just wasted two years looking forward to have him back in my life..sad days weepy nights just made my life fucking bad) Anyway not even a quarter of your experience can i call mine. You truly have gone through a lot okay? And overcoming that and then sharing with others and making funny videos and inspiring people and encouraging self love, telling us to know our worth is such a great accomplishment! That’s why i call you goddess. You’re such a pure soul ! And you know what i am seriously new to your house i got a video of yours in my search column on ig and then i opened your profile and immediately clicked on follow! Then i went through your feed and then searched your website and read about you. There was something missing in my life and now i feel complete. I thank god for having you in my life. I feel so confident that someone out there is sharing her experiences and exhibiting the strength one owns and i can do the same! I must love myself first and i can live even whole of my life being single and enjoying every fucking fun in this world ! And your i dont give a fuck attitude is just lit! M sorry for such a lengthy comment haha i just got overwhelmed and type type type ..
    Okay so eagerly waiting for the next chapter mama 🐧.
    See you soon Goddess! Love you.
    #thepersoniadmiremost

  22. Your the woman I aim to become when post 30. Expired n fabulous . Thank you so much for just existing mama penguin .

    Lots of love n respect
    Arfa Taziyan

  23. My heart is aching right now, so much suspense. I felt like I was in the middle of a Nicholas Spark’s book. If you wrote a book on your life, it would definitely become a best seller. You are amazing. Can’t wait to read the rest.

  24. OH GOD Im going through this right nowwww!!!
    I dont know how to get over this guy either ive tried everything he leaves things go great and he just comes back few month later and it hurts so bad!!!!

    Thankss for this i really needed to learn a lesson
    Im trying my best tbh but trying isnt workingg !!

    THANKSS ALOTT MAMA PENGUIN YOU ARE THE BEST !!!

  25. That was so courageous .. that honestly took courage to write and I can not stand Pan! I hope you find some one that can empower you!

  26. Love you!!

  27. Hits so close to home, so many traits similar to my ex. Even if they do wrong you’re the one who feels guilty for telling them and making them angry. Hope everyone finds someone who can actually control themselves and won’t make you feel like shit for something you have every right to say. I’m loving the blogs, great writing, you’re such an inspiration 😊

  28. I think in my entire life m reading the best *based on true incidents* thing.
    Because somewhere i can relate this tooo with my life…
    Since last week i have started reading your life and i feel as if somewhere m in my flashback and m looking at myself on some points.
    Keep inspiring others and really love your spirit to give your life book to the social media and becoming a voice of many of girls in this world 👍

  29. What a f…ing asshole. Reminds me of my ex who I actually married.. it lasted less than a year.. i always say that during those two years It was like I died then came back to life.. (after divorcing his fucked ass) I have a daughter from him and he’s never seen her doesn’t want anything to do with her.. good for you for leaving this trash.. marrying him would’ve been a disaster with abuse, control, and lack of trust.. block his sorry ass.. you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen and nothing less ❤️

  30. I understood soooo much more after reading this chapter.. cannot wait for next week.. i loved the step by step feeling in the writing …. I think pan wanted to feel more excepted by you even though his parents weren’t Americanized … How he treated you was definitely a definition on how he was raised . I sort of feel like it wasn’t him who didn’t accept the girl he loved but rather in fear his parents weren’t going to be…. until next week 😬😬😬😬🐧

    1. Thank you Penguin. Until next week <3

  31. Omfg it’s so relatable with my story

    1. I’m so sorry you’re going through this or have.

      Stay strong and FABULOUS!!!

      Faiza

      1. This hit me. Oh my god did this hit me. It’s a tug of war battling with modern relationships and keeping your tradition. And yes!!!! Those who say they are americanized lack any empathy or respect for tradition. I can literally see myself at my ex’s dinner table meeting his family. I believed in him so much…only to end up with my v card gone pregnant after asking for my hand and a single mother in court. And he’s not wrong…because in our culture a man can get away with just about anything and everything. This story took me back through every emotions and motion I felt. You’re an epitome of strength. Strength.

  32. Everything you said so far I can relate to. It’s our nature.. Nature of virgo. I know you don’t want to believe in horoscopes but it gives us a clue of how we love, trust…etc. I wouldn’t want it to control my life.. But it helps me understand myself better in order to control it.
    Can’t wait for the next chapter.
    Oh also i decided to move away from a fuck boy thanks to you. I want to find smth better..smth worthy ❤

    1. SO proud of you for seeing your worth. And penguin, it was ALL YOU!!!

      Stay strong and FABULOUS!!!

      Faiza

  33. Wow just wow

    1. Thank you Penguin.

      Until next week…

  34. Been waiting all week for this, so relatable ! Realizing alot now.

    1. I’m so honored that you Penguins can relate to my vulnerability. It’s so empowering. Thank you!!!

  35. So unbelievably relatable it breaks my heart too

    1. I’m so sorry for any hurt you’ve been through Penguin.

      Stay strong and FABULOUS!!!

      Faiza

  36. Damn… Seriously, Faiza I… I’m just so shook of your story. And mostly I’m shooked about him, the dick guy in many ways.. How love, or what we think is love can blind fold us at the moment, how we think we love and trust someone so hard and in the same time we don’t know who the person we are giving our trust on realy is…
    For me, who haven’t had a boyfriend just get so freaking scared of the time I’ll be with someone and absolutely not just by reading this🤗😘 but yeah, as we all know fuck boys are all around us in different shapes🤦🏻
    Just can’t think of how dead I would be if I’ll fall for one. But I have to say I and obviously many others learn so much about what you tell us of your experiences and thoughts 💭 and I am more than thankful for that and you have saved my life many times with your advices❣️❣️💓💖😻🤗you don’t even have a clue🤗🙈😍😍😅love you endlessly 🤗😃💕💕

    1. You sound like a very smart girl, so have faith and think before you act. Hopefully, sharing my story can show you and countless others what to avoid and how to set standards.

      1. You calling me smart! THE Faiza Rammuny ❣️you just made my teenage years go to the seventh cloud all the way 😃🤗💓

  37. Can’t wait to read the rest!

    1. Thank you Penguin <3

  38. Thank you so much 4 sharing! U r so brave doing this! U r an inspiration to me

    1. This means so much to me. Thank you Carol <3

  39. Listen… You’re killing me with this… “Until next week” nonsense… I don’t want to wait until next week, Faiza.. lol maybe if I call you, Rebecca, you’ll listen. 😉

    I’m hooked.

    1. LMAO… and that’s genuine. I literally laughed my ass off reading this.

      Until next week… lol

  40. Ah so relateable. Breaks my heart.

  41. Omg!! I can’t wait to find out what happens. I know too many girls in our culture who have gone through this. sad.

    1. This is very true. Sad, but true.

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